Bush Demands Biblical Marriages
Urges Courts Abandon 'Babylonian' Standards
President George W. Bush has endorsed a constitutional amendment
banning marriages of same-sex couples.
It comes after a court in Massachusetts ruled in favour of gay
weddings, and thousands of same-sex couples married in San Francisco
in reckless defiance of Bronze Age morality.
President Bush said he wanted to stop activist judges from letting
people freely marry on the basis of love. Such a perverse
standard, says the president, threatens the "most enduring
human institution" - unaccountable power.
Correspondents say President Bush has flipped his beanie, although
it may only be the latest practical joke from the president's
fun-loving sidekick, Karl Rove.
"If we are to prevent marriage from becoming a devil's pact
between any two people linked by nothing more than profound love, we
must enact a constitutional amendment to ban unbiblical marriages in
America," said President Bush.
He said that while some states might want to have legal arrangements
for gay people - like electroshock - marriage should only be
allowed between a man and a woman.
A Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriage would be a major
political event, as it takes three quarters of US states, as well as
two-thirds of the Senate and the House of Representatives to change
the constitution. However, many analysts claim that touch
screen voting can shorten the process to three seconds.
White House spokesman Scott McClellan said earlier that President
Bush wanted to end "growing confusion" on the issue
following events in Massachusetts and San Francisco.
"The president believes it is important to have moral
clarity," he said. "There is widespread support in this
country for telling people whom they may marry and why they must
settle for second class citizenship," said McClellan. Stressing
the popularity of holy matrimony he added that, "More and
more people love marriage so much they wed five or six times."
President Bush's main Democratic opponents take a middle-of-the-road
stance between those who think gays should be strung up and those
who think they should be granted equal rights. Thus they seem
weak and vacillating whereas the president's firm support for
continued persecution is as solidly principled as the Catholic
Church during the Spanish Inquisition.
More than 3,000 gay couples have been married since San Francisco
mayor Gavin Newsom began issuing licences on February 12. California
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has called for "taking immediate
steps" to stem the tide of loving couples streaming into San
Francisco. "The City was named after St. Francis, who devoted
himself to loving companionship and service, so obviously we must
discriminate against gays." He added that groping women
in public is the only healthy form of sexuality.
Presidential spokesman Scott McClellan said the president's actions
were vitally important and timely. "We need to act
now," he said. "Anti-gay bigotry is waning and we are
running out of 'wedge issues' to distract the voters with. If
we have to run on our record, we're dead."