Bush 10 Point Plan for Economy
Author: Goal of More Gains in Losses
WASHINGTON (GWB) --
President Bush held a press conference on Wednesday to announce his 10 Point
plan to "get America back on top." His goal of one million more job losses by
next year is attainable according to Wall Street insiders. "We've made some
incredible gains in job losses during my first term, and our work isn't over
yet," said Bush at a million dollar a plate GOP dinner in Dick Cheney's
underground bunker. "We fully expect to achieve 100% unemployment right after
the 2004 coup, excuse me, re-election campaign," the president added.
Highlights of the new Bush plan include:
- Higher tax incentives for corporations to move offshore
- Increased prescription medicine costs for small businesses
- Higher college tuitions to weaken job recruits
- Exporting the U.S. tax base
- Introducing nuclear-warhead-backed bonds
- Offering three-generation home mortgages
- Putting Social Security in duct tape futures
- Providing adjustable rate Enronized pensions
- Issuing Bull and Bear "evildoer" certificates
- Celebrating floating rate coolie wages
To really be competitive with China, labor analysts point out, U.S. wages must
fall by ninety percent. "The only way we will get there is through bludgeoning
people's expectations," said Secretary of Commerce Don Evans, "and the
President's plan is an important first step." Evans stressed getting beyond the
rampant entitlement mentality in the USA, which encourages people to believe
they have a right to live even if they can't prostitute themselves to the rich.
Nothing could be further from the truth. "A Responsibility Society requires
that people recognize they have no rights beyond what they can scramble for in
the market," said Evans. "It may feel like a mountain of crabs in a bucket, but
that and only that is liberty," he added.
Meanwhile, Citizens For Free Labor, a Bush-supportive industry trade
association, has found merit in China's prison labor system. "If you want to
eliminate jobs," commented Jeffrey Deskilling, "the most direct method is to
eliminate wages. That way you have a class of producers whose consumption needs
are minimal and a class of profit-takers whose gains are maximal."
Sociologist Jon Slayton concurred, pointing out that an efficient society is a
properly specialized society. "Some people are better suited to gluttonous
consumption, while others excel in providing the slave labor that makes it
possible. The U.S.A is currently a model of this kind of efficiency."
God Bless America and re-elect Emperor Bush!
Reference: Minor Political Parties